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Ps&Qs: Make a Reservation

One of my favorite gifts for friends who invite me for an extended stay is to treat to a lovely dinner out. This might seem like a last minute cop-out, but with a little planning it’s really quite thoughtful. You get to spend time together, experience your host’s town from another perspective and no one has to worry about the dishes.

I research places––linger-over-everything-and-really-catch-up-spots––on Zagat, Urbanspoon, Eater, The New York Times (Dining & Wine and Travel sections), or a local magazine or city paper. I like to offer a few options before making a reservation. Nothing like booking at a top steak joint only to discover that your friend is now a vegetarian. Perhaps there’s a new place they’ve been wanting to try, but just needed an occasion. Well, here’s the opportunity.

Also, If you’re staying with someone who won’t let you pick up the tab for anything, this is a way to sneak in a little something. Pick up a gift certificate for a excellent restaurant and leave it behind for them as a thank you. By the time they can even try to argue, you’ll be halfway home.

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Gift: Friday I’m in Like/Luv/Love

I think the last time my husband and I attempted to celebrate Valentine’s Day we surprised one another by having both made cards with an anatomical heart theme (complete with graphic arteries and ventricles). Ours is a curious brand of romance.

That said, I’m not entirely unromantic either. Irregularly shaped construction paper hearts, bunchy tissue paper flowers and teeny cards with corny knock-knock jokes do make me swoon. And really, any opportunity to let others know that your heart skips a few extra beats because of them, should be taken.

So, for those marking Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, here are a few gift ideas for friends, family, significant others and even yourself.

Express how you feel in prose short and sweet with these bold, graphic postcards of affection from Enormous Champion.

 

Present something less expected than roses like this flowering bonsai tree kit from Sprout Home (an endless source of wonderful finds). Just like your fondness, it’s the gift that keeps on growing.

 

Get creative with your littlest sweethearts. The glitter, feathers and other trimmings included for tricking out folded hearts and animals make this origami kit truly awesome.

 

Share the obsession of Downton Abbey with anyone keen on intense family drama, smoldering romantic tension, lavish dinner parties and fanciful hats. Sparkling eye candy aside, it is an engaging, well-cast mini series. I’ll be crushed when it ends.

 

Need an antidote for all the Valentine’s Day schmaltz? Taking a break from love this year? This t-shirt from Love Is Lame will alert suitors to back off. Warning: some might take it as a challenge.

 

I kinda can’t believe I found this hand embroidered pillow, but that’s the magic of Etsy. And Plumed appears to have stitched pillow designs for every brand of romance too. Be still my heart.


 

 

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Gift: Guest Perks

An apology to our overnight guests: I’ve been slacking as a host. There was a time when I topped off your stack of sheets and towels with little soaps, always arranged fresh flowers (ok, I usually still manage this) and never forgot to set out the subway maps for you. Sure, the place is tidy and you’ll have your own set of keys, but what of the little perks?

You traveled all those miles to come see us and the city where we live. It’s a big effort, and I need to remember to be more gracious about that. So, while I can’t promise everything, here is my wish list (if I had an actual guest room and unlimited budget) of things I’d like to have on hand to make your stay more comfortable.

Fresh scented fancy little soaps like these from Santa Maria Novellathe 16th century pharmacy and perfume shop in Florence.

I used to keep a basket of slippers at the door, but no one seemed to wear them. Perhaps if I upgraded to the cozy Wicked Good moccasins from L.L. Bean I’d have more takers.

Did I mention you’ll be staying on a pull-out couch? But, with a bit of imagination and this waffle kimono robe you might think you’re at a proper hotel. For a minute anyway.

This hand-thrown porcelain water carafe and cup from Pigeon Toe Ceramics would be the ultimate accessory. It’s reason enough for a guest room, preferably one with a private balcony.

I have a whole stack of useful maps, but with the advent of smartphones I forget to offer them. I love traveling with an actual map and, even more critical, a guide book providing the real scoop on a place. The Not For Tourists series is excellent for that.

Thank you to my friend Charlotte for sparking today’s topic, and guest room envy. What are the little extras that you like to have for guests when they visit?

 

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Create: Make Someone's Day


My mom is a note writer. We could mark the years in messages tucked into lunches or school bags in her neat cursive covering everything from the encouraging “Good luck on your test” to the practical “Don’t forget to turn in your permission slip”. On my 16th birthday, I opened my lunch (which she still made every day––yes, I was lucky and spoiled) that had been packed inside of a paper birthday hat along with several notes. I blushed (and probably said: oh my gosh, my mom is such a dork!)  knowing I was too old for this, but truly happy that I hadn’t outgrown it either.

I’ve never outgrown it, and I owe that entirely to my mom. What a simple, lasting gift. I love leaving and finding notes. Even a quickly scrawled post-it on my desk will do. Thankfully I’ve paired up with someone who understands this about me.  My husband, Todd, even goes as far as concepting themes for the elaborately photo-shopped stack of notes that he leaves for me to open every day when he’s on extended work trips. He also posts things (in the style of ‘lost cat’ bulletins on trees) for our son all around the house. It’s sweet and our son makes sure the notes are well fed as shown above.

Todd’s creativity has challenged me to up my note writing game too. For a recent trip I jotted down facts (population stats; key phrases to know; etc.) about the city he’d be working in, and equally important facts about life at home (we miss you more today; things are boring here without you; etc.) on little scraps of paper. I layered these notes and a few photos between the clothes in his suitcase as a surprise to unpack miles (fact: 4,081 miles) away from home.

Here’s the thing, notes like these can completely change someone’s day, and it doesn’t take much. Seeing as it’s February 1, it’s about to start dumping diamond and long-stem roses advertising. To combat all that in the coming weeks, take a moment to write a sweet, funny or flirty message to someone that you care about––a roommate, co-worker, the waitress at lunch, your neighbor. Leave a poem on the kitchen counter, impart one kind line on the back of a receipt, or scrawl a waxy crayon heart on construction paper to simply say ‘I like you’. It’s way more lasting than roses.

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Gift: Book by Its Cover

My book editor friend, Louise, reassured me that the E-book trend isn’t making printed mater obsolete, but rather it’s inspiring a design revival in the publishing world. Phew! As a result, those who refuse to forsake the genuine article are, as Louise so aptly put it, “being wooed with more elaborate and extravagant design work.”

I’ve always considered a book a thoughtful gift for any occasion or age, so woo away please. And, in the following examples of classics book re-design, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to judge a book by its cover.

Wuthering Heights and The Picture of Dorian Gray are part of a clothbound series with covers detailed in climbing vines and peacock feathers (vain Dorian!) by Coralie Bickford-Smith. She is a senior cover designer at Penguin Books, and the prolific artist behind several Penguin series from F. Scott Fitzgerald to spooky good Gothic Horror novels.


Also from Penguin is the Threads Deluxe Classic Series. This three book collection is the glorious handiwork of illustrator, cartoonist and embroidery magician Jillian Tamaki. I had long dreamed of passing along my well-worn copy of The Secret Garden to my child, but how can I resist this edition?

Ok, this might be less gift (limited collections are available in the online store) and more inspiration, but I’m intrigued by the custom collections from Thatcher Wine of Juniper  Books.  I attribute this bit of book lust entirely to my husband who organized our modest library by color as glimpsed above. His designer-as-librarian work was undone completely by our toddler-as-wrecking-crew, but it was lovely while it lasted.

Cloth-bound covers, rich designs by commissioned illustrators and thick, satisfying paper are the hallmarks of White’s Books. Other titles in this keepsake collection include favorites like Sherlock Holmes: His Greatest Cases and Jane Eyre.

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Create: A Fresh Start

Happy Year of the Dragon! Today kicks off 15 days of celebrations all over the world. If you weren’t quite ready to make resolutions, much less get out of bed and make coffee on January 1, here’s another chance. I’ve always liked the idea of marking the new year on your own timeline. The January 1 start date seems limiting, and it really sneaks up on you after the holidays. For many years a trip to Door County, Wisconsin, in March signaled my personal New Year. But I’m sure most people would take fireworks over a plate of Swedish pancakes to symbolically usher in the new.

Aside from fireworks and fire crackers, Lunar New Year traditions include forgiving past conflicts, gathering with friends and family, getting a fresh haircut and accenting with the color red for good luck. And my favorite––parades! The Chinese New Year coincided with my move to New York so I chose that as my re-start button for the year.  The parade, followed by a fortifying bowl of wonton soup at a nondescript, yet welcoming, 12 seat Chinatown diner made for an auspicious beginning to what’s proved to be a pretty interesting adventure so far.

The dragon is a powerful symbol said to bring success and happiness.  This year in particular is supposed to be one of high risks and high returns. So, Kung Hei Fat Choi––let’s do this thing.

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Ps&Qs: Seat Assignments

I asked for the post-holiday scoop, and readers dished. Hopefully today’s Q&A will help others avoid seating scenarios gone wrong at their next party. Please send along your solutions too. 

Q: At Christmas dinner the hostess (my sister-in-law) requested a favor: that the other single adult guest and I sit at the kid’s table (age range 7-21).  I’m family (the other guest was not) so I obliged, but still felt very put off. Was I wrong to feel slighted?

A: There are several things wrong with this scenario, but your feeling of being snubbed is not one of them. Making people feel welcome is the heart of sharing your table and home. It’s unfortunate that your sister-in-law missed this basic, important detail. Especially since I’m sure she worked hard to shop, cook, clean, etc. for the dinner.

Not only did she assign seats, but rank as well.  Despite the fact that you and the other guest were nearly twice the age of the oldest ‘kid’, those without a plus one were considered lower in the adult table pecking order. That is the more disappointing reveal of your host’s character. We can’t remedy that, but this seating fiasco could easily have been avoided.

*Disrupt the decorative tablescape and squeeze in two more places. It’s possible. This Christmas we had 11 adults at a table that comfortably seats six. It was like one of those annoying story math problems, but I was determined that no one be farmed out to the couch (all of 5 feet away, but still). 10 proper chairs, one shoehorned in stool later and, elbow to elbow, we dined together.

*Forgo the kid vs. adult table and mix up the seating chart. I have a friend who likes to separate couples which is a nice change. But the cross generational set-up is usually a guarantee for interesting turns in conversation. Warning: grandma might get hip to Twitter and start following you.

*Serve buffet style. Set smaller tables and let people land where they will.

*Hosts take the hit. If committed to a sit down deal with a precise number at the table, then the hosts should accommodate their plan by sitting at the kid’s table.

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Ps&Qs: Just relax, really.

Today’s topic is brought to you by my former colleague, friend and generous host, Audra. It was a very good reminder to me that a comfortable guest is the best one of all. Thank you A!

Q: Guests usually want to help with dishes after meals, but I really prefer that they relax and that I do dishes myself. I just think that guests shouldn’t have to “earn their keep” via chores. I know it’s a natural impulse for people to want to help (and I do offer when I am a guest, but I guess I don’t push it and just try to do small things like keep my room/space tidy, wash glasses as I use them, etc).

This weekend’s guest must have asked me 50 times in two days if she could help with something. I finally had her do little things like carry the dishes to the kitchen and assured her that she didn’t owe me anything. But I sensed a bit of awkwardness in our clash of philosophies. All the offering is gracious and I appreciate the gesture, but still I don’t give in. Is that ok?

A: Perfectly ok. Whether staying for dinner or overnight, guests should follow their host’s lead. As you mentioned, it’s really the gesture that is most appreciated. So your guest is right to ask how they can help (and always should), but yes, after the 49th time, they need to take you at your word.

This question is a very necessary reminder for me, because I think I’m this guest––the one who feels unappreciative if I’m not elbows deep in a sink of dishes. My brother-in-law is the same way. Now it’s practically a game between the two of us as to who can sneak in a speed dish washing round after a dinner.

However, I am also a host like you in that I’d prefer guests to linger in the glow of the dinner aftermath and help by, say, finishing that bottle of wine we just opened. Moments around the table with our favorite people are always fleeting, so hosts and guests alike should both relax and enjoy. The dishes can wait.

 

 

 

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Gift: Gratitude

I know it’s a dying formality, but I have deep respect for the thank you note. Not because I expect them from other people (although it’s always a nice surprise), but I actually enjoy writing them. I love hunting for beautiful note cards and taking a few minutes to express gratitude to those who have extended kindness towards me. People should know that they are appreciated.

My mom impressed this practice upon me (along with probably 75% of the things covered on this site). My sisters and I fought writing them, being banished to our bedrooms left to procrastinate and complain, but not to be allowed out until we’d written all of our thank you notes. And you know what, we all still write and send them today without anyone needing to ground us.

The start of the new year is a good time to acknowledge thanks––for Christmas gifts, to clients for keeping us employed, to family and friends or just because.

Here’s some incentive:

A little something for the dreamers, fine stationery with a unicorn motif from Sesame Letterpress.

Greenwich Letterpress can help with all your special shout outs.

I do love a monogram. Paper Source has updated takes on the classics.

If you’re feeling pressed for time you can always dash off a quick note on Ideachic‘s vintage inspired bicycle postcards.

Say it with flowers––Gold Flower thank you cads from Rifle Paper Co.

 

 

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Wander: Off-Season


I know that right about now I should be booking a trip to Mexico like most reasonable people in northern climates, but I’d prefer a blustery walk on a nearly-vacant beach in, say, Maine. I’m not opposed to sunny, tropical spots, but the off-season is one of my favorite times to explore a place. Sure, you need a few more layers, but the perks include expanded vistas through bare trees, prime tables at restaurants (the ones that stay open anyway), and, usually, good deals on lodging.

We visited Nantucket just before Thanksgiving where we had our pick of seats on the ferry ride over. We were able to snag coveted stools at the island’s outstanding brewery/distillery/winery, Cisco Brewers, otherwise mobbed in summer.We shopped (crowd-free) for the fresh Nantucket bay scallops at Sayle’s Seafood and local greens at Bartlett’s Farm market for dinner one night. And there was zero wait for lunch by the fire at The Brotherhood of Thieves. We even got in on a local happening––the Nantucket Whalers vs. Martha Vineyard Vineyarders homecoming football game. And really, who couldn’t use more whale themed floats and parades in their life?

 

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